Aries – Slow walkers. If someone can't keep up on the sidewalk, how will they survive the chaos of Aries' entire personality?
Taurus – Eating off their plate without asking. Taurus didn’t agree to share fries or feelings.
Gemini – Bad texters. If the convo dies after “hey,” Gemini’s already emotionally packed their bags.
Cancer – Making fun of their favorite show. Especially if it’s a comfort binge like The Notebook or New Girl.
Leo – Low effort selfies. If the lighting’s tragic and the angles are worse, Leo can’t emotionally invest.
Virgo – Messy handwriting. If it looks like a spider did a cartwheel, Virgo’s mentally correcting it in red ink.
Libra – Loud chewing. Nothing says “this won’t work” like aggressive pasta slurping.
Scorpio – Oversharing on the first date. Childhood trauma within ten minutes? Scorpio didn’t ask for a live podcast.
Sagittarius – Needing to “check in” constantly. Sagittarius is dating a person, not installing surveillance software.
Capricorn – Lack of ambition. If the five-year plan is just “vibes,” Capricorn is out faster than a networking event with no business cards.
Aquarius – People who hate reading. If someone hasn't picked up a book since high school, Aquarius will emotionally file for divorce.
Pisces – Making fun of astrology . If someone says “that stuff’s fake,” Pisces sees a walking red flag wrapped in skepticism.
Taurus – Eating off their plate without asking. Taurus didn’t agree to share fries or feelings.
Gemini – Bad texters. If the convo dies after “hey,” Gemini’s already emotionally packed their bags.
Cancer – Making fun of their favorite show. Especially if it’s a comfort binge like The Notebook or New Girl.
Leo – Low effort selfies. If the lighting’s tragic and the angles are worse, Leo can’t emotionally invest.
Virgo – Messy handwriting. If it looks like a spider did a cartwheel, Virgo’s mentally correcting it in red ink.
Libra – Loud chewing. Nothing says “this won’t work” like aggressive pasta slurping.
Scorpio – Oversharing on the first date. Childhood trauma within ten minutes? Scorpio didn’t ask for a live podcast.
Sagittarius – Needing to “check in” constantly. Sagittarius is dating a person, not installing surveillance software.
Capricorn – Lack of ambition. If the five-year plan is just “vibes,” Capricorn is out faster than a networking event with no business cards.
Aquarius – People who hate reading. If someone hasn't picked up a book since high school, Aquarius will emotionally file for divorce.
Pisces – Making fun of astrology . If someone says “that stuff’s fake,” Pisces sees a walking red flag wrapped in skepticism.
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