Rugby star opens up on mental health struggles and why more men should speak out

Ask people in the street to describe what a male rugby player is to them and you can expect several stereotypical words to crop up. Big, strong, powerful - or any of the synonyms of those words. The focus is always on the physical side of the sport rather than the psychological. But there's also a part of men's rugby that we don't talk about as much as we should - the mental health of its players. Due to those aforementioned stereotypes, not all men are inclined to speak out if they're struggling. Front row forward Austin Hay, a player for Champ Rugby club London Scottish, is keen to help change that, having experienced tough times himself.

"We've got this perception of, I wouldn't say we're alpha males, but we're known for playing quite a physical sport and for just hiding our emotions," the 27-year-old tells Express Sport. "So if people open up about it, it can help the person struggling, but it opens up everyone else to what's going on in people's lives and it can help the other person open up as well. It makes it a safe space. It doesn't matter who you are, there is someone out there who can support you and does care. Men and women in this sport, there needs to be an understanding that if someone's not right, it's okay for them not to be alright.

"And how can we help them? How can we manage that emotion and how they're feeling to make them start to feel better and start to make them understand that it's okay not to be okay. How can I help? How can I help them to find a way to get them back to a more happy place?"

Hay was released by London Irish, a Premiership club, in 2019 and such a personal setback was difficult to come to terms with. It led to tears and, sometimes, suicidal thoughts. The tighthead prop is now in a much better headspace, and part of that journey of finding greater inner peace included a lengthy Instagram video in 2021 where he confessed his struggles to those unaware.

Four years on, having joined just London Scottish in advance of the 2025-26 Championship season, Hay says: "Yeah I've been doing good, I've been a lot better with my mental health. I've got a good support network with my girlfriend being there and being really supportive with me and understanding of what I go through.

"Me personally, it's definitely improved. Yeah, I still get blips, but it's all about how my support network and what I know works and what I can do to kind of get myself out of that mental headspace." So how did rugby help Hay? Time at Rosslyn Park in National League 1 was crucial.

"What was good was when I was at Rosslyn, it was kind of at the peak of when I announced my mental health struggles, we had our own mental health groups. So if something was wrong, you've got people in your team that you go to, or the team captain. I found that quite beneficial because it gave us a point of contact. I think teams and players are getting a lot more of an understanding of it.

"I've been to many clubs and they've got LooseHeadz posters up on the walls. If players have a team-mate or coach who's a point of contact, then they can go, 'Okay, I'm not feeling great. Let me chat to them and express what I've been feeling.' I think that's one of the issues is, within sport and rugby, is that everyone wants to have a laugh. Everyone's a bit of a joke and jolly. But on the other side of it, not everyone wants to have those deep conversations about, 'Oh, actually, I'm struggling today because of X, Y, Z.'"

As it becomes more of a norm in rugby that such feelings can be openly expressed, thanks to men like Hay, the faster the progress rugby will make. The Scottish are currently in training ahead of the new Champ Rugby season in October, one Hay is "really looking forward to", but he'll be keeping himself busy before then.

As well as being in the gym and regularly training and playing friendlies throughout a lengthy pre-season, Hay is a teacher in the week. And he's going to become the head of PE at a Battersea school next month. "Keeping yourself busy, I know sometimes you may not want to do that, but that was quite beneficial for me," he explains.

"Just keeping myself ticking over, keeping myself busy. Keeping up those network bubbles and keeping yourself active, and not just completely switching off and doing nothing. That's going to be interesting - being the head of a department and then playing Championship-level rugby. It's going to be a really interesting thing to deal with having that extra responsibility, that planning and stuff. So that will be a good challenge for me.

"It will definitely help with my maturity. I need to be really strict with what I do and set that routine. But if it gets too much for me then I say something again. I won't just struggle and think I'm by myself here. It should be a real challenge but it's a challenge that I'm looking forward to."

Yet while Hay is such a busy man, and will have plenty occupying his mind on and off the pitch in the coming months, what he says next is a testament to his character. And is a perfect example of the kind of empathy and compassion that will aid mental wellbeing at rugby clubs up and down the country.

"When I posted about my mental health and did my last article, I had people message me and I've still got a guy that messages me every now and then we have regular check-ins. If people want to get in contact with me, obviously I'm more than happy to have a conversation or have a chat about how they're feeling."

"And there may be other networks or other people in their lives that could be a better network, a better person to speak to. I think if someone is struggling and reading this article, I'd say that should either get in contact with someone or try and do something that they enjoy doing. Find something that makes them happy.

"Set yourself reasonable goals and goals that they know that they can achieve. They're more than welcome to get in contact with myself and I can try and be that ear for them or try and direct them in some sort of way to someone or something that can help them start to feel a bit better and feel like they're not alone."

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You can find Austin Hay on Instagram @austinhayyy