'My brave husband had a beautiful death in my arms - now police are investigating'

A wife has told of the final precious moments she shared with her husband as she wrapped her arms around him during his “beautiful death.” But now Louise Shackleton is being investigated by police for taking Anthony, 59, who had motor neurone disease, to Dignitas in Switzerland to die in December.

She has spoken publicly for the first time since his death as Parliament gears up to vote on assisted dying legislation in England and Wales. Louise, 58, from North Yorkshire, told the : “The night before he died we were sat having a meal and he told me: ‘I need you to fight for other people. I need you to tell my story because I shouldn’t have to do this.’

Talking to the Mirror about her heartbreaking loss, she told how they flew to Switzerland together. “It took four people to get him on the plane and he turned and looked at me and said ‘they can’t stop us now can they love?" They then shared “four amazing days” before he died.

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“What was incomprehensible to me was he was looking forward to going to the Blue House at Dignatas," said Louise. "That he was looking forward to dying!

“When we arrived we were greeted by three people, who were very knowledgeable, explained everything that was going to happen. My husband was given an anti-sickness medication. And we then spent a peaceful hour outside. The Blue House overlooks the Alps and has beautiful green fields in front of it. Twisting up outside the front bit is a very old wisteria tree. I've got some of the seeds here because they let me take some seed pods home with me.

“We spent an hour in the sunshine together, talking. And I couldn't believe how relaxed he was. It was amazing, honestly because as humans we have this fear of dying and of watching death. But he made it all so comfortable. He was at absolute peace.

“And as we stopped there, he turned and looked at me and said; ‘It's time’. My heart broke as I pushed his wheel chair into the building knowing these were the last few moments I would spend with him.

“He was asked for the last time ‘whether he was sure that this is what he wanted to do’. And that once he'd taken the medication he'd fall asleep and he wouldn't wake up.

“He smiled at them and he said; ‘What do you think I'm here for? Let's do this! He was laughing when he said it and smiled again. As I lifted him up to the bed I lay beside him, my husband administered the medication himself by swallowing. I couldn't look at him doing that. I turned away.

“I wrapped my arms around him and within minutes he was becoming heavy in my arms. We were talking. And he said ‘I feel sleepy’. I held him tighter and he gave a little snore. And we always had a joke about him . So I said to him, ‘I can't believe you're snoring’. And he laughed and gently slipped away. It was a beautiful death.

“I knew that he was going, I could feel his weight on me. I lay there with him for about half an hour. I was laying with his dead body on the phone, booking an Uber.“

She said it is that pain and her promise she made to him to "not let his death be in vain" that has led to her speaking out about their most private moment. Louise reported herself to police as soon as she returned to the UK. A spokesman said: "The investigation is ongoing.There is nothing further to add at this stage."

Anthony was diagnosed with MND in 2018 after experiencing foot drop but the couple were reassured he was fine until eventually he was diagnosed with the disease and told he had around two years to live. “That news was absolutely devastating, we thought he'd just maybe had a nerve trapped in his back or something. Then five minutes later he’s told ‘you're going die’ - It was beyond words, beyond words. “

Anthony began to lose everything so precious to him such as playing pool, riding his motorbike, taking pictures. But the dad of three was “overwhelmed” when he was unable to even hold his wife’s hand.

“My husband had the fear of three deaths that motor neurone promised him. One was to suffocate. The other one was to die from a chest infection. And the other one was to choke to death. “ She said he knew palliative care in the UK was “not going to give him a good death either. No matter what was gonna happen, he was going to suffer. My husband's mobility was declining rapidly.

He told Louise: ‘I can either go there and I can die peacefully, with grace, without pain, without suffering or I could be laid in a bed not being able to move, not even being able to look at something unless you move my head.’

“Every pleasure he had in life was slowly taken away from him,” his wife said. He told his wife he wanted suicide either at home or in Dignitas.

“The journey was quite fraught. I wasn't happy with him dying full stop,” Louise told the Mirror. "Over two years we discussed what would be the humane way for him and taking a load of tablets was pretty dramatic and unsafe for him as a person” so he decided on Dignitas.

But she points out the Dignitas process “isn't what people think”, explaining: “You don't just go over there and then they give you the barbiturate. You have to go through a long process."

In the meantime Anthony, as he prepared for his death, fulfilled his bucket list including a trip to to see the Rocky mountains and a meeting with famous singer Bryan Adams. “My husband came to terms with it and his glass was half full not half empty. He went out, did things he wanted to do, went to places he wanted to go. He spent time with his amazing friends.” During this time he also organised his own repatriation into the UK after his death.

“It blows my mind. I’m 58 years old and I have experienced death and loss in my life but this the death of my husband the process we had to go through, me having to leave him and not knowing who was going to care for him not knowing where he was going to go, not knowing which funeral director was going to look after him was behind any pain I have experienced in my life.”

"If the law had changed in this country, I would have been with family, family would have been with us, family would've been with him. But as it was, that couldn't happen. I was his wife, we'd been together 25 years. I couldn't do anything else but help him."

Anthony, was a furniture restorer who had earned worldwide recognition for making rocking horses. She added: "I think the measure of the man is that nobody has ever said a bad word about him in the whole of his life because he was just so caring and giving. He was a dedicated and loving father.”

The next debate on the assisted dying bill has been postponed to allow MPs more time to consider their positions following controversy over amendments and wait for the Government’s impact statement expected after Easter.

Kim Leadbeater, the MP who introduced the bill, has sent letters to all 650 MPs saying the next debate will now take place on May 16th.

Ms Leadbeater recently said 150 amendments have been adopted to the bill, which aims to allow terminally ill people to end their lives "on their own terms".

One of the amendments has seen the need for a High Court Judge’s involvement to be scrapped and instead replaced with a voluntary assisted dying commissioner.

It will comprise of a judge or former judge to oversee assisted dying cases, along with expert panels featuring a senior legal figure, a psychiatrist and a social worker.

The MP told the Mirror: "I believe the amendments made have significantly strengthened what was already the most robust assisted dying legislation in the world.

“...I have always said it is more important to do this properly than to do it quickly. I am absolutely confident that there will be no delay to the bill’s passage towards Royal Assent should both Houses give it their support."

Sarah Wootton, Chief Executive of Dignity in Dying, said: “Louise and Anthony’s experience is proof that the blanket ban on assisted dying is failing dying people and their loved ones.

"That British membership of Dignitas has risen more than 50% in the last five years shows there is a demand for choice that is only increasing. For those who cannot afford the £15,000 this costs, some are left to suffer as they die, despite good care, or to take matters into their own hands.

"...When MPs and MSPs come to cast their votes in the coming weeks, they must remember people like Louise and Anthony and the thousands of others who have been let down by the blanket ban, who are depending on them to change this law.”

Chief executive of Care Not Killing, Dr Gordon Macdonald, an alliance that opposes to assisted suicide, said: “These are very sad cases and there are lots of people who every day face death and/or face the death of relatives in hospices and around the UK.

“And so we do need to look at how we help people have peaceful and dignified deaths but the way to do that is by properly funding palliative care in this country at the moment a third of palliative care funding comes from the . A quarter of the people with cancer don’t get the palliative care they need.

Louise has not received any payment for this interview.